Monday, August 07, 2006

Americans agree to learn how to spell correctly

In an unprecedented Transatlantic agreement, the so called "Special Relationship" between Great Britain and the United States of America, is to be further cemented by an agreement that has taken over ten years to negotiate. Academics, book publishers and newspaper proprietors amongst others have been working with politicians and educationalists to negotiate an agreement that, in essence, will lead to America adopting the British model of spelling. No longer will the phrase "Two nations divided by a single language" be an apt way to describe the relationship between the two countries. Changes will be phased in over the coming years, with a complete move to the correct form of spelling by 2018. America, home of the "Spelling Bee", is about to adopt the rules of the mother country in terms of the origin of the language in a bid to offer consistency and continuity.

The missing "u" will be returned to words like Neighourhood and colour. From now on, celebrities will be the Centre of attention and not as previously in the Center. Programmes will replace the old American spelling programs and many other words will be transformed forever.. Economists have calculated that the extra letters needed for the new spelling format will add 6% to the cost of newspapers and books and that nationally the project will cost the Country over $800 million when the cost of changing stationery and up-dating text books and forms is taken into consideration. The new spelling will initially be introduded on a voluntary basis, but after the first five years, fines will be levied on anyone producing publications or public signage using the out-dated spelling regime.

Some resistance is expected at first, but officials are confident that once the first cohort of children who will be taught using the new spelling systems have reached High School, people will begin to accept that a change was sensible and be fully supportive of the project.
PA

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